I am a 22 23 24 year old graduate of University. I always assumed that by this point in my life I’d have a clear sense of direction, that’s not the case. I did study geology at uni but have now decided that isn’t really what I want to do and am going to go retrain as a nurse instead (I hope!).
I spend far too much of my free time out on duty or training with St John Ambulance, hence the new career direction, but that’s currently pretty much on hold for complicated reasons. I also suffer from depression social phobia and agrophobia chronic PTSD borderline personality disorder (why yes, I do collect diagnoses!) which is medicated into sometimes submission. This is mostly entirely a fairly dull blog about my life, my problems and a system that really tries it’s utmost to destroy me.
August 6, 2009 at 3:40 pm |
Hi Ana
I just checked back to look at (more of) the comments on your last post. You’ll recall that in my little blurb I directed you to my blog, which at the time was talking about spiritual things. I’ve moved on now, but your post caught my attention when I read your conflict about ‘God’ (I don’t place quotes to imply G. doesn’t exist, but only that we are using the name G. for something which is probably far deeper, and both more complicated and more simple than we ever suspect.)
Anyway, I’ve been looking around your site a bit more, and I’m troubling you again because I notice your diagnosis of BP disorder. That entity gives me pause. Historically, it was used pejoratively by (male) psychiatrists to stamp (usually) female patients with a label that communicated their frustration with what they perceived as manipulative and/or seductive and/or angry behavior.
Marsha Linehan, as you probably know, has rehabilitated the diagnosis, so that clients/patients/consumers/users can now carry it without necessarily being prejudged as ‘maddening-and-impossible-to-help’ by clinicians. Still, I would be cautious about reading too much into the term unless you really trust the person(s) who gave it to you.
Hopefully, you know a little (or a lot) about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I have found the parts of the training I’ve completed quite helpful (off and on I’ve carried the BP diagnosis, even though I’m a man–probably the ultimate insult by my psychiatrists).
Frequently, those labeled with BP disorder were raised in traumatic environments, and often suffered sexual abuse. Since you are at present living with your parents, I hope that means they are good people and have treated you well, so that your diagnosis (if accurate) arises from other causes. If for some reason you did get mistreated as a child, my heart goes out to you as someone who can really understand.
Take care. I apologize if this comment has upset you or struck too deep. You are so young, and I am so suspicious of the mental health system, that I felt compelled to reach out with a little information to help you negotiate your issues. SInce you are obviously quite bright, I suspect you already know all this stuff, and perhaps have long since quit reading this comment. But I am unable to resist trying to help if I think I possibly can.
Take Care.