I got through Christmas despite relatives, colds and too much food. To be fair I even mostly enjoyed it and forgot to be down for a little while, only a very little while but it was nice while it lasted.
But now it’s over and back to unemployed, bored, useless reality. There are still no jobs around and I must be going for some sort of record in terms of outright rejections. The thing it I easily meet and exceed the person specification for these jobs but I’m not even getting an interview. Now all these jobs have the option for you to declare yourself disabled and because of fluffy equal rights laws they guarantee people with a disability an interview if they meet the job requirements. I don’t consider myself to be disabled but I meet the legal definition of having a disability and I lost my previous job because I am “disabled”. So why won’t I declare it? I’d have interviews coming out my ears, ok it doesn’t guarantee a job but it gets me further than I am at the moment. Why are people able to use my mental health against me, but I’m not prepared to use it to my advantage. Why am I too proud to help myself? It’s because I’d feel guilty, horribly guilty. I am not really ill in the eyes of the world and consequently in my eyes too. If I had a physical disability, I’d have no problem declaring it, and wouldn’t be afraid of being judged but mental health is treated so differently and I can’t bring myself to tick that little box and tell the world.