I’m still knackered because I can’t sleep properly. I keep having sleeing hallucinations, weirdly vivid dreams within dreams that become increasingly harder to get out of and are worryingly first aid themed. FOr example I saw a flying zoll with the face of a demon attack me. So I went to the out of hours doctor as this with as I was kind of bored with not sleeping and someone out there must have some sort of answer right?
Which leads me to Ana’s rant for the day:
Why, if you’re intelligent enough to know you’re crazy are you therefore too intelligent to be treated as crazy? Apparently because I have so much insight and understanding of what’s going on that even though I’ve told them I will try and kill myself again if they give me half a chance, there’s nothing they can do to stop me, even if I want to be stopped. Damn this intelligence of mine! So I’ve decided that short of hitting people with a big stick, which I’m probably too insightful to be sectioned for and will just get arrested, I have decided to declare myself the Second Coming of Christ/Allah/The Flying Spaghetti Monster/*insert religion of choice here* on the off chance someone will then declare me help worthy. Who will join me?! Mentalists of the world unite under my banner, I shall be your saviour (or some such). And for some reason they call me intelligent?!
Which leads me rather neatly (or not neatly at all to be quite honest) to Ana’s thought for the day:
Why does an overdose of antihistamines leave you with a worse cold and sneezing more than taking none. Damn this biology. This too I shall reform *maniacal laighter*
In case you’ve missed it somewhere in the above my current coping mechanism consists of morbid jokes and extreme sarcasm. So any flippant remarks welcome 😉
And because I think you should: read this and the poem writtem most eloquently about it by Chapati here. And maybe consider, just for a moment, speaking and contacting me or anyone you know in a similar situation just to let them know you care.