A huge thank you to all the incredible people out there who have reached out to me over the last few days. Thank you for all the offers of email addresses and phone numbers and everything else. I’m afraid I don’t feel strong enough to use them right now but it does mean so much to me that there are people who I’ve never even met who are thinking of me and caring.

I feel a little more positive right now. My mum came home to keep me company this afternoon which was really sweet of her. We do find it hard to communicate with each other but we’re both trying and maybe getting there a little bit. I made a big decision at the doctors. I didn’t take my prescription home with me as I knew what I’d do with it. I’m going to let someone else pick it up and dispense them to me daily. So maybe I don’t want to quit this world quite as much as I thought.

I have a couple of active referrals out there so will see what happens with those. Hell, I even have a job interview tomorrow afternoon. I even quite fancy the job. It’s a dispensing technician at a pharmacy, so probably mentioning the last weeks events wouldn’t be too clever… I don’t hold out much hope for actually getting the job but if I can get there, give relatively coherent answers and not burst into tears then I will have achieved a lot for me.  And that’s all I can hope for right now. To keep surviving. Just a little bit.


One Response to Thanks

  1. aims says:

    Oh sweetie.

    My heart hurts for you. Was away yesterday and missed your post about the system. WTF!! What is wrong with these people?!

    Don’t for a second tell them about your mental problems when you go for a job. Don’t!

    I told me doctor last Friday about being suicidal a month previous and my not telling him then. He actually was going to have me put in the ward to be evaluated. I can’t believe the difference in our health systems!!

    I ended up promising him that if I felt that way again that I would tell him immediately. I assured him that since I had been honest and told him in the first place that I would keep my promises. I always keep my promises. So he let me go but he wasn’t happy about it at all.

    Where the hell do you live?

    And – thankfully I saw that Henry North London had been by. He’s a psychiatrist – one who understands completely.

    I’m here if you need me. Always.

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