I apologise for my extended absence of late, I am still alive! I’m also sorry for lack of comments etc. on blogs, I was without internet for over a week and when I switched on again I had over 200 posts on my google reader which was a little overwhelming. I promise to catch up at some point soon.
The reason for my silence was firstly a holiday (just with my extended family, nothing too exciting) then moving house. I’m now safely resident in my shiny flat which I love to bits and is wonderful and amazing and awesome. I’m getting on really well with my flat mate and currently have another friend residing on the lounge floor which has been an excuse for much baking of biscuits and late night girly chats. I’m also rediscovering my social life which has been incredible, the realisation that I do still have friends has been quite overwhelming at times.
I am still up but only through a hefty dose of denial. The minute any negative thoughts start creeping in I’m literally shouting them down often through having conversations out loud with myself so that I can no longer herar the creeping doubts. I know it’s not really addressing anything and the issues are still there, probably building up until I reach breaking point but right now I don’t care. I’m coping, I’m having a good time and for now that’s all I want 🙂
In other news, I actually don’t strictly know if I’m starting my course in a month or not. I had dared to assume that since I hadn’t heard anything at this late stage, my occy health clearance had been granted and all was well. Of course, that was stupid of me, assume something would be problem free, never going to happen! The uni has know for a month and a half that I haven’t been cleared but neglected to inform me of this fact. I only discovered it when I rang occy health as recommended in the information I received 2 days ago and found out for myself.
Apparently I need to see one of their doctors which is terrifying in itself given my past experiences. However, worse was that they should have been booked up for the next month which would have meant delaying my start as I can’t go on placement without clearance. Thankfully the very lovely receptionist squeezed me in for in a fortnights time. I’m hoping that will be enough, that my mood holds out till at least then and I convince them that I can do this, as I do genuinely believe. However, if one appointment is not enough or if they need more time, I now have a matter of weeks to sort this rather than the months I should have had if the uni had got it’s act together and informed me. This has left me more than a little scared and pissed off, I just hope it works out ok because if not, I won’t know what to do.