Tomorrow is psych appointment afternoon. The temptation to hide from it is so great, it’s unbelievable. That’s the problem with being self-supporting, there’s nobody to force me to do anything. My parents came to visit again yesterday. I feel very guilty about them driving 2.5hrs every few weeks just to see me but it does help. I made them promise that they would love me no matter what happens. This seems strangely important to me. I don’t want to let them down anymore. Still haven’t heard back from Complex Cases so guessing that’s a no go. I’m really not that fussed to  be honest, didn’t like them anyway. But I do need some support from somewhere, fortnightly half hour psych appointments really aren’t sufficient.

In other news, I’m thinking of joining a gym. There’s one about 5mins walk from my house which is pretty darn convenient and means I’m actually more likely to actually attend as opposed to just meaning too. It’s very fancy, 25m pool, loads of classes, fancy equipment but it’s all comes at a cost. It ain’t cheap but is still costs less than a week of my DLA per month. However, I don’t deserve to spend that money on me no matter how it would make me feel. And while in fantasy land I can convince myself I’d go swimming most days, in reality I’d probably find even that 5 minute walk too much. I do know that exercise makes me feel good. If I hurt from that, I don’t need to hurt in other ways but I just don’t know. Also, it’s a 12 month commitment and that’s terrifying. Who is to say what will happen in the next 12 months, but at the moment it doesn’t look all that promising.


6 Responses to Tomorrow

  1. Nurse Converse says:

    Join the gym! Go swimming, if it makes you feel better then it’s certainly worth it.

    Hope your appointment goes well.

  2. Erm.. I thought the whole point of DLA was to spend it on you to make you feel better (that’s what I took it to mean by “care component” since it certainly isn’t enough to pay someone to sit with you 24 hours a day, so surely it’s so you can pay for things to look after yourself – like gym memberships. (I also have it on good authority that the “mobility component” is for spending on things like taxis…)

    Anyway I hope the psych appointment goes well.

    Take care,

  3. Lola Snow says:

    No advice re: The Gym. I am still faffing about membership. I heard local councils do a sort of ad hoc slightly cheaper memberships, no 12 month contract, and multi-sites. Have a look at your local council website, and check out their sports facilities.

    But as for tomorrow, good luck Hon. You do need support, it’s clear that you are really going through a rough time at the moment. Stay Safe Ana,

    Sending Big, slightly inebriated hugs.

    Lola xxx

  4. Nurse Converse says:

    How did it go today? x

  5. Alison says:

    I keep thinking of joining a gym, there is not really one near me as such… well there is I guess the nearest and posh-ish is about a 20 minute walk whilst the cheapest where dad goes which I’ve been a member of before and don’t like means a taxi there and back as it’s in the middle of nowhere… like the other gym nearby… I really need to get my arse into gear and do some exercise!

  6. trio25 says:

    I used to be a member of a gym, great when I’m feeling good, scary when not. But if I could afford it I would join again as it is worth the membership for a pool that is easy to swim lengths in!

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