Words are not happening at the moment and I seem unable to type straight which is making blogging somewhat triggering. So in short:
- Last blog post triggered concerned reaction in real-life friends and ended up with me in A+E attempting to get myself hospitalised.
- There were no psych beds in the whole East of England area and the best they could offer me was a chair in CDU so I went home instead and friends took pills off me effectively spoiling my careful planning. Still, at least they meant well.
- Was visited by the Home Treatment team on the Monday who advised me to eat plenty of chocolate (I like the home treatment team, last time they advised me to go to the pub!).
- Had first proper appointment with Complex Cases on Wednesday. They were better than I expected. They run a programme of daytime activities such as walking and cooking groups in an attempt to get people out of the house and meeting others in similar circumstances. This sounds potentially good. In the long term they offer some varient of CBT but not until people are stable. This irritates me. I have a naive image of therapy fixes all even if rationally I know right now it would throw me even further down this hole.
- Parents came down and took me home for a few days. This was good and I had a couple of better days.
- I’m now back at home and trying to not let the disordered thoughts find a way back in. I’m failing but at least I’m trying.
- I’ve joined a gym 🙂
Sorry, I may turn this into a proper post at some point if my brain starts regaining control of my fingers but in the mean time have an apology for being such a dull blogger!