Hospital, Part 1: The Admission

A week ago I saw my psychiatrist. Things were bad but to be honest they were no worse than they had been for a while. In fact, I felt slightly more in control than I had done for a little while. I told her about the overdose (the NHS is that joined up that she hadn’t been informed) and how I was planning on doing the same thing again as soon as I got the chance. All things I’ve said before. But something must have changed, the Crisis Team were mentioned, the word admission raised its head. But I didn’t understand, I was the same as I’d been for weeks, why would I suddenly get help now?

I went home fully expecting to hear nothing more about it and when it got to 5pm I started to relax, safe in the knowledge I’d been overlooked by the system one more time. 1730 and my phone buzzed. It’s the Crisis Team, can we come and assess you? I didn’t expect much from the encounter. Their previous advice on encountering me in an acutely suicidal state included go for a walk and go feed the ducks. Good for minor depression perhaps but hardly likely to be a lifesaver.  Anyhow, I digress… We talked and I thought things were much as normal, some advice to read a book or go for a run was sure to follow. Something though was different and that admission word popped up again combined with the words “immediately” and “for your safety”. This wasn’t the plan. Not how things were meant to go at all. Where was the patronising self-help tips? The judgemental and snide remarks?

So I packed a bag. What does one need for incarceration in a psychiatric hospital? Some clothes, a book, my knitting. And there I was, being driven off to what, I didn’t really know and waiting for my thoughts to catch up with the speed of the change of direction of events.

‘Parts: the rest’ are to follow as and when I write them. I don’t want to stress myself too much by attempting to write everything at once.

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10 Responses to Hospital, Part 1: The Admission

  1. finefinefine says:

    sorry you’ve had such an awful time, and sorry that is such a crap thing to write. But, I sincerely hope that things improve very soon x

  2. lostinmentalhealth says:

    I really hope that you are ok as ok can be, sending u a hug, take care x

  3. Sorry to hear you’ve being going through this, all though it’s nice to hear about the Crisis Team actually coming up with something other than long walks or baths…

    Hope you are feel better now.

    Take care,
    Differently

  4. It does seem to happen quickly. Things seem to be… well, just how they’ve been for ages, then suddenly you’re being rushed into hospital and don’t have time to think. My admission felt very rushed too.

    Sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through this..

    X

  5. Bippidee says:

    Thinking of you honey. Sounds like you have been having a really hard time lately, and I am glad that you finally got some help, even if it wasn’t in the way that you would have liked ideally. It is weird the way things can turn out so differently when you are saying the same thing – I have had similar experiences in the past of being given the usual patronising bollocks and then on a different day being admitted, or it being suggested etc. All very strange. Thinking of you anyway. xxx

  6. Nurse Converse says:

    I really hope you’re OK, as much as you can be. Hopefully this is a positive thing. xxx

  7. stacy says:

    Sorry things went differently than you’d expected. Hopefully though you’ll be able to set yourself on a new track with some help.

  8. Cassie says:

    I’m sorry that things have been tough which resulted in hospital. However, at least the crisis team actually did something to try and help? I’ve been told that before, ‘go for a walk’ to cure my depression and the thoughts of ODing, it’s very frustrating. Sounds like things happened very fast, hope you’re doing okay.
    Take care,
    Cassie

  9. Sorry things have been so hard for you. Remember if there’s anything at all I can do to help, just ask. Take lots of care lovely, will be thinking of you xx

  10. […] Anickdaler has had her own run-in with a Crisis Team. “I went home fully expecting to hear nothing more about it and when it got to 5pm I started to […]

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