Bad posting habits.

Because I am a bad blogger and quite possibly a bad person, I’m going to cheat and have half this post be an email I sent to my case manager at Complex Cases. I know I should reword it all into blog speak but it means I have to think less and quite frankly thinking hurts at the best of times which this definitely is not.

Hi lovely case manager,

I have a rather large problem because my housemate wants to move out by the end of July. She says that I'm not well enough to share with and she probably has a point. This is troubling because I couldn't afford to keep my flat on even if I wanted to. I'm also struggling to see anything else even vaguely affordable in [place where I live]. My friends are all telling me that I'm not stable enough to live on my own which is rather annoying but I do wonder if they can see something I can't. I also get the impression that they are getting rather sick of me and it would be easier for them and everyone would be happier if I wasn't around in
[this place] any more.

As far as I can see it, I have 2 options. The first is to stay here assuming I can find somewhere affordable to live which I really doubt. I also worry about being on my own a lot as I know how easily things can go from ok to very, very bad.

The alternative is to move back to [place where I'm from] and get a flat close to my parents. The advantage of this (other than it being infinitely more affordable) is that I'd have a lot of support available from my parents if I needed it as well as the ability to pop home if I needed to. However, I don't really know anyone up there which would mean I'd have to find ways to meet people and visit friends in Cambridge at weekends (which I think they find to be the preferable option). However, I don't know what impact moving would have on continuity of care. I don't know what, if any support is available up in York and if I'd be entitled to it without having to go through stupidly long waiting lists which has been the case in the past.

Basically, I really don't know what to do. Neither option seems particularly ideal but I am determined to keep my independence and have somewhere I can make my own. I am finding this incredibly stressful and that's before I even start to think of the logistics and paperwork involved in actually moving which seem far, far beyond me.

Help please!

Thanks,

Anickdaler

So yes, I’m a bit screwed. I can’t make my mind up one way or the other, or rather I can’t keep my mind made up. I keep making absolute decisions and then switching them half an hour later which is proving rather exhausting. My case manager is looking into accessing (possibly supported) housing association flats for me but I’m scared of ending up somewhere I hate. Plus ending up in council housing was hardly part of the great future I had envisioned for myself.

Argh.



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4 Responses to Bad posting habits.

  1. Some council housing is actually really nice (or at least round here).

    Don’t really have any advice/solutions, but it’s good that your case manager is helping you. And where ever you end up needn’t necessarily be permanent.

    Hope you find a good solution soon.

    Take care,
    Differently

  2. finefinefine says:

    Hi
    Sorry you are in this dilemma. But sounds as if your cc is on the case. I am in a HA flat, and I was very anxious about how it would be. But… I LOVE my flat. I am safe inside it. I don’t like being outside it but that would be the same anywhere I think. So, please don’t discount HA / council properties, it’s worth having a look at least. Good luck x

  3. aims says:

    Ana – first off – congratulations on writing such a superb letter to your case manager. It states your problem and your issues so clearly that anyone who is helping you doesn’t have any problem understanding what is going on. That clearly shows you have improved tremendously.

    Secondly – as I can see from the above comments, HA seems to have better conditions than you expect they do. If you were to move into something like this then you would have to have some kind of emergency help line if you are going to be on your own. (I for one really worry about you being on your own.) Not that I don’t think you could ever manage that – but it is much easier to fall down the rabbit hole and even talk ourselves into the rabbit hole when we are by ourselves. A roommate stops a lot of that.

    Thirdly – is there a possibility of advertising for a roommate and you could stay right where you are? Does your roommate have to give you any more notice than what she has? Can your counselor find you another roommate? Is there someone like you looking for somewhere to live? Or – is there a student of psychiatry looking for a roommate? (this would be a great option I think if at all possible).

    Fourthly – Moving back to your parents or near your parents. I sighed when I read this because I know your parents love you and care about you and worry about you. That’s what parents do. Don’t feel bad about it. I know they would keep you safe and would certainly set up some routine to check on you if you did not live right at home.

    Fifthly – Don’t forget – As differentlysane said – none of this has to be a permanent solution. It takes a long time to get well. A snap of the fingers does not cure us. We have to go through years of healing and years of regurgitating whatever it is that caused it. We are NOT alone in this. There are millions of us Ana. Remember that your future goals are not something that have flown out of the window because of chasing the rabbit. They are still there and still attainable. Maybe in a different way but still attainable.
    You are a very smart girl from what I discovered. It’s okay Ana. You still are. Maybe a little unsteady on your feet but you are still Ana underneath.

    Lastly (one can only hope perhaps) If you have to move. I believe moving to be a very exciting adventure. There are always new people to meet and different things to see. As you pack and unpack – man do you clear out a lot of stuff that in the end is really just junk we’ve collected. You also come across things that are very valuable and that bring back incredible memories that have been forgotten. Moving is not and should not be the horrible event people think it is. It deserves better because it really is an adventure. And adventures are things we should cling to to keep our brains active and away from navel gazing which we both know is destructive for us.

    I’m here if you want to chat via email. I’ve got some interesting jewelry magazines lately that you might be interested in too. I keep wondering how you’re doing on that end. I found something really cheap to work with and it makes beautiful jewelry! Let me know if you are interested – okay?

  4. Stacy says:

    So sorry things are stressful right now. The idea of moving is a pretty overwhelming one to most everyone. I hope something workable comes up and that the people that work with you are can be helpful.

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