I met with my new therapist for the first time last week. I was having a bit of a wobble due to screwing something up in the real world which made it hard. I cried which was really embarrassing and something I’d rather avoid. Anyway, she set me some homework to write a list of all the things I have achieved since I started to recover so that when I wobble I can look at it and see proof of progress. When I get upset, things quickly spiral out of control and I tend to forget or downplay all the things I have done so I can see that this could be useful. However it means being kind about myself which is something I really struggle with.
So here goes:
- It’s been two years, almost exactly, since I last tried to kill myself
- I haven’t self harmed for about 3 months and I haven’t self harmed badly for more like a year
- I am in a stable relationship with someone I love and who supports me with what I want to do
- I have found a good group of friends through my stitching group who I am happy talking to and being open with (plus I think they get on with me too)
- I have started a business from scratch. OK, it’s not big and successful yet but it has potential and most importantly it makes me happy.
- My self confidence has improved a little bit. This is an area that still needs a lot of work but I am doing things I would never have imagined I could. When I started doing craft fairs, I wouldn’t talk to anyone now I can give customers the story behind my products and chat a little to other stall holders.
- I am actively engaging in recovery through attending therapy and taking my medication regularly
That’s all I can think of for now. I may edit this if I come up with any more. Apologies for the arrogant post.