Au Revoir but not Goodbye

I don’t really write much here any more. Sometimes that makes me feel guilty, this blog and the associated twitter account has meant a lot to me over the years. It has helped me through seemingly impossible situations and I doubt I would have survived the last five years without it. I have had some fascinating conversations and debates and been afforded sympathy and understanding when. I needed it most. It isn’t me any more though. I’m finally moving on with my life.

I am no longer the person I was when I wrote the majority of posts. Dare I say it, I’m happy. I still have a mental illness, I probably always will. I suspect I will be taking medication for the rest of my life but I’m fortunate to have found a combination that works and has bearable side effects as long as I take it religiously. It doesn’t define me any more, I have rediscovered the person I was underneath it all and although I wouldn’t say I liked that person quite yet, I’m certainly coming to terms with her.

In the next couple of months, I will most likely be opening a shop. This isn’t the path I would have envisioned my life taking but that doesn’t matter. As I said, I’m moving on. I am excited and terrified in equal measure but I am embracing the opportunities and I can’t wait to see where they lead. I don’t think I’ll ever get over falling asleep desperate for the new day and to see what it brings rather than hoping that I never wake up.

I’m not going to make some grand gesture and say I’m closing this blog down or that I’ll never write here again. Writing is incredibly cathartic and the best way to get my mind and thoughts in order. I am drawing a line in the sand though and opening a new chapter full of hope and and second chances.

What I don’t want to lose is the incredible, quirky, inspiring people I have met through doing this. When I started writing here, it never occurred to me that people would read it or that I would get the chance to know those people personally and count them as friends. I have met many of you in person and hope to meet some more in the future. Maybe I’ll host a knitting Mad Up in the shop! Please keep in touch. I now tweet publicly here if you’re interested and I also blog crafty things here.

I’m looking forward to the future in a way I would never have believed possible.

2 Responses to Au Revoir but not Goodbye

  1. willfindhope says:

    I’m really pleased for you 😀

    • allison says:

      That is inspiring reading. Reading that has made my day – my week even. Ana, I am so pleased for you. Go girl! And thank you for giving all of us reading your entries hope for a happier future. There can be no greater gift

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